we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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