well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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