You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
