I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
