I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
