Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
