Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
