Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
