If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
