Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
