my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
