I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize