You made me cry and you don't even care
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
