You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
