i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
