We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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