I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
