:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
