i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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