One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
