Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
