dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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