Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
