My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
