I got chris browned last night
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So much rum. So many feels.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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