sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
