Ambien. No doubt about it.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
