I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize