hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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