I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
