Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
