she looked like the before picture.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
