question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
