I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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