it wasn't lemon gatorade
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
