you guys were way drunker than both of me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
3 2 1 whiskey
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
