I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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