All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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