Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
