I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
