It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
