if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
