i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
