I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
