I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
