whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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