At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
whose ass print is on the piano?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
