the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You took a bar mat shot.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
