i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
