i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
soo... how was my night?
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