where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
