my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
