New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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