11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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