Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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