The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
