I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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