does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
