sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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