Pappa wants mamma naked
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
