i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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