Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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