Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
